im tired living up to everyone's expectations. including my own.

im tired of trying to mug 24/7 when deep down, i dont really like being tied down just like that.

im tired of thinking of my future, and tolerating those preaching (especially by adults) that usually starts with "studying isnt everything" to "character is more important". then, why then, do i freaking study so hard?

im tired of trying to get used to the fact that life is very, very unfair. im trying to make lemonade out of the lemons that fate had handed to me. im trying the hardest to survive in this world full of delusions and false lies when one person could backstab you the moment you turned around; or when fate just pulled the carpet from beneath your feet when you think you're finally standing stably.

im also tired of trying to find out what others think of me.

someone once told me that she would rather live a short happy life than live a long draggy life full of drudgery. its because of the evolution of humans that our ancestors chose to dump this legacy on us. no longer are we simple-minded monkeys, or so as Darwin says. its a bustling world when humans are at the peak of our age. it progresses so fast that if you attempt to withdraw from it for a year, the differences are immeasurable.

and trying to keep up with it is like chasing after a kid your physique. you may not catch him, but the sight of him is always there taunting you.

mmm i think i love those family gatherings when all of us come and gather around and play cards or go to the arcade or just go down?

 it kinda de-stressed me.

but anywayyys, went to the arcade last night in bishan. our parents let us out even though its kinda drizzling. walking walking walking to the arcade at junction8. it seems so strange considering i walked into it every monday and wednesday. arcade was too expensive so went to popular. then to macs. i think we talked very loudly cuz a lot of people are looking at us. but ohwells. went to this tiny arcade with a hotel-ish smell and played the normal..daytona USA, DDR, and the bish-bash thing. haha. was disappointed over DDR, the difficult is too hard and the easy is too easy and didnt manage to play the intermediate. omg i love DDR. i like dancing on it somehow. its not dancing >< its kinda like stepping on the arrows? haha. found my love for it in australia. was fooling around and slowly got the hang of it. i can play it quite well, i guess. not as pro as the daily arcade players lah. played daytona once and gave up due to the steering wheel.

but thats not the point. the point is, this group of gangsters came in halfway. theres only the gangsters and us five people. and the gangsters are totally mean alright they are shouting at our ears - hurry up lah. theres this tall looking guy with dyed blond hair and two girls on either side of him. scary. okay they might not be gangsters but perhaps rude people. VERY RUDE OMG.

suddenly when hanyuan is playing the entire arcade shut down. all the power mains are switched. we got spooked and rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn back to the house. we thought the police are coming. then, it occured to us we didnt actually do anything wrong. hanyuan just played a lot on the daytona USA -.- and we stayed up even later before xD

went home talking about gangsters. qiqi said they arent very rude..ohwells. and xinzhe is saying something about us being expelled since we are all from IP schools - rgs, nanyang, hwachong, RV. okayyyy.

okay thats it. have to go home earlier though; kinda bummed about it but dad already told me beforehand so i wasnt really surprised.